...and it´s important to understand that even if some people seem to be "so happy" all the time, they might only be acting. I got a comment from Sabine yesterday where she said her life sucked and I want to put my response here in the blog, cause believe me, I have and everyone has harder days, days when life sucks, when we doubt ourselves and so on so do NOT believe those who pretend to be so happy all the time. No one can be that, but how we perceive life and choose to see things, do have a BIG impact on how our lives will turn out.
Here´s my response to Sabine:
Sabine; Oh no, your life doesn´t suck! You know, my life is always ups and downs and some days I don´t wanna go up from my bed and life feels like hell, also to me. But I have learned that life is like that: ups and downs, heaven and hell. We "need" both to really live and I believe it make me love life even more with my down times. They remind me that I am not immortal, that life can end so fast and then I appreciate even those harder days and try to see what I can learn from them. And remember Sabine, in a blog or a facebook status, people only show the "nicer" things of their lives, since no one wants to read about misery and pain. And in todays society it´s all about trying to look all happy, even if we are not, cause people don´t like people who complain, being victims and being "weak". So believe me, many people who seem to be so happy are in real life - not. I am writing a book at the moment and I assure you that you will see that my life also has been filled with ups and downs and times when I wanted to just give up and not get back up again, but I am like one of those clowns in a box. You hit me to the ground and I´ll bounce up again right away and I hope you can find that strength and spirit inside you too, cause it´s all about our own thoughts and how we choose to live life. Negative or positive. And also, believe me when I say that there will always be people putting you down, making you sad and you´ll be wondering how the hell there can me such "mean" people out there. But there is and always will be, but good always wins in the end, I truly believe so;=) Now lots of hugs and today: enjoy life without thinking about more than NOW. No backwards, no forward - just where you are now. Maybe the sun will shine today? Maybe you eat something really yummie today? Those little moments are so nice and important in life;=)
Really love that response :)
Cause people might think that you are always happy and so on, some people have great friends, other have something else.
We don't have to think "My life sucks because I haven't done...".
We need to think "My life is great, I feel healthy today" or something like this ;)
Always remember that somebody else is suffering more than u r and that your situation could be worse. Instead of looking at what you don't have and what u r not, look at what u do have.
I didn't know u were writing a book...
Hi! I really do feel I have to comment on this. Everything you say is true... And Sabine: I have been reading your posts....
Life is not easy you know. You have to struggle about many things. Sometimes the issues feel overwhelming and so difficult you almost give up. I too have had my ups and downs. But... When things get too difficult you must seek help, and try to help yourself. I wrote Anette earlier that our lives is a road full of turns , crossings, down-and uphills. And somehow I think we need that: that makes us who we are, and every little crossing you get through, makes you a little bit stronger. Although it seems like hell sometimes, life is a beautiful thing, and it is worth fighting for ! Everyone in this world has their own problems. We certainly are not happy all the time . It is fun and nice to write about positive things, but we all have so many phases, pages, corners, secret thoughts, feelings and even personalitys in our lives. Lets try to help eachother, that is important !
Take care Sabine , and everyone else who is struggling with themselves. Your life may suck right now, but you can change it ! Don't lose hope !
I think when something bad happen in our lives we see everything in black and cant see the positives things. I'm that king of person and i think most of people are like that.
Everyone have problems and bad days and sometime life really sucks yes and its hard to see whats positive. And I do think this blog can help a lot! When you feel bad you just come here, read few articles and then i feel a little better. Of course it can solve problems but it can make us smile again.
I remember when i met you Anette an I told you that you were such a positive person and you said "oh no in not, when something goes wrong I think everything is wrong and im so negative". I was so surprise cause here you only show the positive side of your life and I think a lot of people does that. On my facebook I never write I feel bad or something cause its private and I dont want people to say "oh poor you". Its doesnt help me at all!
So sabine, your life surely sucks sometimes, and so ours too! Try to think to whats positive in your life, even the smallest things. Maybe you could write everything you like to do/to eat/to listen to, every one you love, every persons who love you etc etc, what you like on you, whats people like about you and so on. And I'm sure that side of the list will be bigger than "whats negative" side's list!
So, Anette thanks for your blog, I'm sure it helps a lot of us. As I said few times, its an every day gift.
Love & Hugs to you Anette & everyone in this blog.
I really loved that comment even when I've red it for first time, but I love it more now, it's really inspiring and true, it helped me too :) thanks for writing it :)
"Try to see what I can learn from them" - this is really motivating..
You wrote "good always wins in the end" .. I believe it's true, too! And like Lennon said: "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
I'm really happy that you wrote this for your follower.
And I'm also happy to hear that you really are writing a book ;)
I wish you all the best in your lives! Not that many "downs" but more "ups" !
I felt like writing a comment here, since I really appreciated your words. This is also something I have thought too, especially lately, when thinking how this past 2012 has been. Sometimes life can be really hard and challenging, but perhaps it's from these moments that we can learn the best lessons. I just think that I have learnt a lot, first of all to fully appreciate the good moments. I'm also aware that the people who really matter are so few and precious. All the mean people I have met in my life are nothing, when I think of all the kind and inspiring people I had (and probably will have) the opportunity to know. Sometimes kindness, even a small act of politeness from a stranger in everyday life, can really make the difference. Observing and noticing these and other small things can keep me away from bad mood for a while. And you're right, the way we choose to see things makes a huge difference too.
Have a nice evening :)
PS: I think the book is a nice idea, looking forward to hearing some news about it!
Yeah, sometimes (to not say often LOL) there are moments in my life that suck too.
But along these years I have been teaching myself that you shouldn't be negative and let worries rule your life, even if your current situation is that. Some people can do it easily, while others can find it hard, just like me.
But the true is that we'll always have to deal with things that will put us down, people we don't like and things we don't really want to do, but know that is important for ourselves, in order to achieve something we really want.
If fail, get up again. It's worse if you don't try to change.
And whoever you are and whatever you do, there will always be someone to point out a finger. All you can do is ignore it and move on. Chase the good things.
It easy to say, really, really hard to do, but that's how I think life is.
By the way, I like to listen to this speech from the classic Rocky Balboa:
This is simply a great lesson.
Yes Anette you has so right!
Sabine: My life is not all the time sunshine.
Most people only post good events in the social networks. And conceal the bad.
From personal experience I know that many like to leave stupid comments, if anyone has experienced something sad.
Because many believe that they cheer up a fact, but that is often backfires.
And most do not understand when you reply angrily to it. This to me is also a form of bullying.
Why I'm not on FB, and another network.
It goes with bad or sad, I write to my friends and acquaintances an email or talk to them.
For we must never forget that there is still a world outside the internet and this can not hold you.;)
Sabine I give you times two families on the path of wisdom.
On the day follows the night.
In the winter, always a new spring.
Hide is not worth it.
Otherwise you can not live.
If you feel it is no longer,
Come a little light somewhere.
with kind regards
Anette, thank you for the great and inspiring post! Your blog is really valuable! Keep on writing and being so supportive!
Sabine, I am pretty sure that soon you will overcome all the current obstacles and troubles and you will experience plenty of happy moments. Moreover, the best thing is that you will be wiser and stronger!
you're my best friend, and you always will be. Stay strong sweety, i love you. <3
Wow, Anette, your response is so inspiring! =)
Yeah, sometimes you think like "Oh, my life is so suck! I hate it!", but everything depends on your attitude to life. It's really hard to stay positive and not losing hope and enthusiasm whatever happened, I understand it. But if you try to learn on your mistakes, not give up, I'm sure, in your life would be more positive things, feelings.
And remember, life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.
Sorry for any mistakes.
All the best to Anette, Sabina & everyone else! ^_^
I am just sitting here reading it and trying not to cry! Thank you so much Anette! If I had your adress I would personally come you and hug you!
I only have extreme feelings so when I am down, I am suicidal and when I am happy, I am happy as hell.
But my feelings can change every second.
And this is for everyone else: THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU MADE ME CRY! I WISH I COULD KISS ALL OF YOU!
I hope I will recover soon and with help it will go even faster!
I wish I could personally come to you Anette but it is quite hard to go to sweden on a bike:)
I love all of you!
I'm putting the post and comments in a word document. Just because I love you all.
SO true! Anette, I love you for talking about topics like this.
I think it was Ville Valo who said once "Life sucks, let´s celebrate it." And he´s so friggin right.
It´s hard to do so, but somehow we all can learn to have our fun even during our bad times. Of course it is exhausting, of course it takes all your strength. I have started to write down every day one event of the day that was good. It helps a lot.
Even if the famous light at the end of the tunnel is just a train, we still have time to enjoy the light before it hits us. That´s the most important thing, I think. To enjoy the little things. I learned that during my time in hospital, and so far all the things I´ve learned there hav eproven to be right ;-)
Sabine, whatever is wrong or however you're feeling won't last forever. Believe me.
We all have a gift... the gift of life. And life is a constant series of ups and downs. And for a lot of people there are more downs. So if you feel you presently have more downs then you are not alone as there are several people who experience more downs. Though as I said before the downs won't last forever.
I believe we are all duty bound to make each others time on this world as pleasent and bearable as possible.
So Sabine please take solace in Anette's blog and also try to gear your thinking towards being proactive on these comments.
I don't know when but better day's are ahead waiting for you :-)
Respect for you! I love your positivity, which is big, but not fake like its often on the internet. You always give hope to me and obviously also to other people. Thank you. I Agree with you.
If you are writing a book about your life, It´s a great news. I would love to have it.
Love, hugs and good mood :-).
I couldn't agree with you more Nettie, what you aid is so true.
Dear Sabine, don't think your life sucks, just like Nettie said..there are always ups and downs...you need to be strong. Do not let anyone hurt you. Always look on the bright side of life. I also went trough a lot of things...and I always looked on the good side. Big hugs to you and to you dear Nettie
Good night Dearie!
I totally agree with you. I think life is not only good, it didn't mean to be. If our lives was only good and heaven, we just would not be able to appreciate all the wonderful things we get from God. The health, the joy, the family, good friends, a smile - or even more every-day things like food or water, or the fact that I can pay my bills, I am not cold, though it is freaking freezy outside.
Once I saw a picture in a magazin. It was about Africa. Of course, we think we know a lot about Africa, about the life there. In the picture there was a little boy, 4-5 years old and he was drinking the pee of a cow, because he was so thirsty, but since there wasn't any water, not even a puddle, this little boy didn't have a choice.
After seeing this photo, I realised, how blessed I am for things I take for guaranteed.
Sabine, I hope you read this. Here is the thing I do almost every nigth before sleeping. It helped me a lot. I have an excercise book, in which I write down why I am thankful currently. Then I write down what I love about myself, what are my goals. When I don't have time for write, I simply pray. And believe me: there is God, and he listens and answers to your questions. Just be patient.
Be strong, I will keep you in my prayers.
Dear Nettie, thank you for sharing your thoughts, I truly believe, there are some people you shall help with these lines. Thank you for sharing those wonderful pictures from Thailand. Amazing landscapes! :)
And a book..? Hm! :)))))) ;)
Love & hugs:
And one more thought: if there wasn't any pain and struggle, we wouldn't even know what is the happiness. :)
Well, I think that everyone feel sometimes that our lives suck.
I am not happy and I don´t need to. I am always alone, not sharing anything with none (and it´s not my choice), but it doesn´t mean that the rest of the people are going to noticed that.
You gain nothing noticing to other people that you are or not happy. Just focus on yourself and on what you need to feel. And, when you find yourself, the rest of the world will see you as you really are (happy or not).
If I´m here, in this blog, is because of the warmth of Anette (I am also a fan, obviously =) ). Be yourself, thinking and acting according with what you need and not what the rest of the people need from you. That´s the correct path to follow for me.
Have a good night everyone.
xxx Anette =)
Hello Sabine and I really hope you don't feel like you're alone in all this. Like Anette and everybody else said, we all have our ups and downs, and we definitely have more downs than we show people we do. Life is not always pink and bubbly and I'm sure there isn't a single person in this world who can say that they have never suffered in their lives. But it is our duty and a proof of love towards ourselves, to try and overcome these bad times with as much strength and courage as it's necessary. But, at the same time, some days of "mourning" are also necessary I think. So we should all, whenever we feel weary and down, just take some time for ourselves, cry, listen to sad music, even share our sorrow with our closest ones and the ones dear to us, and then GET OVER IT. Dust ourselves up and get up with fresh energies and face our fears and sadness once again. I know it's hard, but it's hard for everyone, not just you, and it's definitely not impossible. So you can do it, just like everyone of us can :-)
Sending you a big hug and blessings, remember you're never alone!
I'm the last person who should have a saying in this (being suicidal and depressed doesn't really help with the whole "enjoy life in its small things!" matter),but I honestly do hope you guys are ALL doing fine.No matter what you have to face,no matter what life bring to you,I'm sure you can all handle it.And you're the first who can do so,Sabine.Having the strength to admit that you don't feel very well,that you're upset,and trying to understand the reasons why is the first step to feeling better again.As Anette and the others said,we're used to seeing some aspects of people's lives,but we don't know every single detail,just like they do not know how many times a day we cry,for example.Everyone has or is facing bad happenings in their lives;some are worse,some are "lighter";some have less difficulties and some have more;some show it more and some try to hide it;some laugh to feel better and some can't hide their feelings and cry.It's ok and it's normal.Just,do not let these things get the best of you.I did,and you know where it led me?Right to fucking nowhere.I let the smaller and silliest things get me down,and now I find myself battling everything a war I do not wish to win.That's not life.That's not even existing.That's just failing to die,and being forced to survive.So,honestly,stay away from it while you can.Do your best to just go "fuck off" everytime you have a bad thought.Be strong for me,will you?Please.For us all.I know words can do very little,but I hope that now that multiple people have told you this,you'll do your best to keep holding on (by the way,the song 'Keep Holding On' by Avril Lavigne truly fits this situation!).I beleive in you.And it's not just empty things,I truly do.Because that's what I wish for myself in the first place:someone who believes in me.So that's all I can be for you:I want to be the one person who believes in you and holds your hand while you fall on the ground.
PS:Being someone who suffers from various mental disorders (not officially though,because I am a dumb fucker and I won't see a doctor)myself,I believe you should go to a therapist or something like that.They'll help you.
PPS:Listen to "Perfectly Flawed" by Otep,it'll make you feel better.I promise.Pinky promise.
PPS:I love you.
that shows what a great,caring person you are. cant find any more word to say. I know the up and downs of live and after bad times come good ones.
to sabine: I wish that your live will be happy soon.
It's really very common and "normal" to feel like that, Sabine! And Annete's response is spot-on in that regard.
If you were ever to check my social network's status, you'd see that I curse life and the universe up and down on a regular basis, but I also have "happy-fun-hello" moments, as my girlfriend once put it. It's all about learning embrace all your emotions as they come but also learning how to manage them correctly. If you were happy all the time, you wouldn't realize it! Same as if you were sad all the time, or angry all the time. You need light to see shadows, and the opposite is also true.
So, hang in there! Roll with the punches and see yourself become stronger each day. Life is an amazing journey and you have so much to see that it would be unwise to focus on just one thing!
As a little side note, I wanted to share this when I saw it on MTV the other day, and I also feel it might fit this particular topic C:
A big hug to Sabine, Anette, and everyone who reads and comments on this blog! Much love to all.
This was so an important subject! I have been reading these posts, and really am touched . So many of us out here: we have our own issues: problems, difficulties, loneliness, we are unsecure, scared. Some of us feel like loosers. And you The Dead Unicorn: all these words are for you too! :) Don't give up ! And you David: I really really hope you can find your own happiness! Your life is you. You have only this life . Make it worth living ! You are not alone!
Thank you Anette, for bringing up this to the surface. It is obviously a thing people need, and want to talk about.
I absolutely love this post on your blog. You're so right too. Everyone had their bad days and the best thing we can do is look for that little bright light at the end of every tunnel. I've had more down days in the past three years than I care to remember and I hit rock bottom. I'm currently homeless and have a lot of things going on in my life that would make your toes curl, but every day, when I wake up, I am grateful to have another shot at life. Gratitude is the key to everything. I thank God for all those little things I have in my life and I thank God for all the valuable lessons I learn daily. Each day is a brand new start and we have to live the best we can. We have to make our lives happy and some days we will struggle. So to Sabine, I simply ask you to look at things a different way. There are people a lot worse off than you are. Be grateful for all those little things because the more you are grateful for, the more you will get to be grateful for.
Hello Nettie was so kind of you to respond here on the blog and being so understanding with all of us, I'm sure your words will help not only Sabine but also other people who are in the same situation! And Wow you're writing a book! this is really something to celebrate :) Enjoy the weekend and congratulations for his attitude and concern with fans. And only 2 words for Sabine STAY STRONG!
Anette, you are so right and all the others here who put those supporting comments, you are great people!
Sabine, I hope it gives you strength on your way to recover! Take care!
I have my problems as well. I am a single mother and for a long time it felt really bad that my friends did not call on me at all when I was down. But thinking back it was not only their fault, but also because of myself pretending that I am strong, and not in need of support.. I was raised in a family where everybody thinks that asking for help is a shame. People usually like me for my good sense of humor and for my caring and relaible personality. I was the team leader of the basketball team, etc... People used to say about me that I look always balanced and strong. Actually I let only my boyfriends get to know the real me with all my fears and tears.
I am still learning to show more of my real feelings instead of making jokes and fun of myself, what I used to do to hide my real feelings and to make sure everybody feels comfortable in my company.
If I can accept people with their weaknesses, why am I so tough to myself? Why the hell should I pretend anything? Do I need people who are not interested in the real me? Absolutely not!
I know now, this is a pattern I brought from home, from my parents, but I have my own choices and I can brake this curse. There are caring people out there who can accept me the way I am, I just need to be brave and open myself more.
I am on this journey now. Somethimes it goes better, other times I just feel awful, but there is always something I find as an inspiration to go on. Your blog is one of them Anette, thank you!
Sorry for being so long, I just felt like sharing it with you and I feel very pround of myself for daring. :)
You wisely put that we should live in the moment, not in the past or for the future and I trully agree! It is not easy at all, but we have to practice every day and learn to enjoy little gifts of life.
Have a nice evening and sleep well!
Hej Anette :)
And hi everybody reading this blog.
I don't normally write in english in here, since I'm a swede and my comments are only meant for Anette to read. But this time I made an exception.
I'm suicidal and depressed myself and every day I wake up and feel useless. But the thing that hurt the most is when someone feels the same way as I do.
@Sabine: I've been reading some of your comments here and on Anette's other blog, but I never really dared to make a reply. Because I know how hard it is to make someone change their minds just by writing it over the internet. But believe me, ALL of us here wants you to get better. I truly believe that you will. We will be here to support you, no matter what.
I will send you some healing energy and hope that it will make you feel better :)
Lots of love and hugs from me!
Sometimes I feel that my life is hell, wanting to do many things, but there's always something that stops me, love to sing, but I know I have no conditions to fulfill that dream, and already heard many times that I have no voice. I know my English is not fluent, but would love to learn a language and because they taste great.
I would love to meet her one day, and I know that a well impossible, but I will fight for that to happen.
I really like his voice, and would like to learn more about you.
God bless, sweet dreams.
Hugs for everyone who lives around you. And a special one for you.
Raffaella - Brazil
@Sabine. I've read some of your comments and I just wanted to say that every single one of us here wants you to get better. I know you have it in you to fight. Please don't give up. Ever. You've come so far just by being alive today.
I shouldn't talk as I'm mentally ill and suicidal but I promise that you have the strength inside of you to get better. I know it. No matter what, we will ALWAYS support you. Always.
None of us are happy 24/7. Every single one of us will have bad days, some worse than others. Just because they seem like they're coping, it doesn't mean they are.
Much love, and remember that we're all here for you. xxx
Sabine, things can get really really horrible, but you know you have support here from Anette and everyone else...
From personal experience though, it does get better, you can stick it out, it's hard at times, but there are people who believe in you (and you too Undead Unicorn) and will support you. But even when things are seemingly at their worst, they can get and do get so much better.
For myself even, in the last 18 months I've been through things that left me at times feeling broken, for months I had to deal with depression, and really horrible anxiety. After all the horrible things that happened in 2012 though this year already has been going so much better, having said that, at my absolute lowest, I could barely crawl out of bed without hating myself, nor could I go to sleep at night without hoping I wasn't going to wake up the next day and keep going, but you do, and things do get better, even though I have no idea what your situation is, you know there are people who do care and support you hun *hug*
Anette, so great of you to post this response here, you really are just amazing for being supportive of your fans who are struggling with some issues, but it really is so touching and just shows that you are a truly kind woman when you do reach out like this to someone who is hurting a lot, and for that, particularly when you did gave me some encouraging words that helped me, thank you.
Wow. I have mad respect for you Anette. What a nice thing to do. I feel like you speak for all of us, not just Sabine. Thank you for that. Right now I'm also at a stressful point in life, and this comment meant so much to me.
I always try to remember that the down point in our lives is to make us appreciate the good even more.
Take care Anette and Sabine
Anette, since when you joined Nightwish, you have taught me to be positive and brave, and you don't even know it. This lasts until today. I read your blog everyday so I can learn more about how you enjoy your admirable dream-life. I really wish I can be a mom like you one day, with a loving partner and a passion still burning bright.
Anette, thank you so much for what you've taught us, and thank you for being part of my favourite band ever :)
Sabine, hope you are feeling better by now. I wish you the best of lucks. Stand tall and fight!!!
I would like to share my "drug" that I use to feel better when life is looking gloomy... I do either the following 2 things:
1. Listen to very loud and sad Nightwish (makes me feel better actually)
2. Listen to VERY LOUD and angry melodic death metal Arch Enemy. It may not be the mayority's taste in metal (specially because of Angela's extreme vocals) but their music posseses SUCH a strenght, you only have to feel it by listening to them. I STRONGLY recommend listening to them.
So, to Sabine(it has lyrics,)feel it and be empowered:
The future's locked within us, all we need is the key.
- Arch Enemy ("The Immortal")
And I'm SO reading your book!
I thank all of you and I'm going to put all your names on my legs, arms or whatever for the butterfly project<3
You guys make me feel realy happy!
I have a blog too: http://deadboysscar.tumblr.com/
It is quite depressive since I am(not official)
But the last day I am happyer!
kisses to all of you!
That was wonderful anette....and sabine..hang in there....ive been through hell and back and again and again....for some reasom a lot of my friends akways want advice from me...and i think but wait.. what do i know. ..ive made plenty of mistakes... but i guess thats supposed to make me wiser...i dont know....but maybe a little... more wise..i hope........
Hi everyone, i'm really speechless. It's so nice to see how all try to help and to support.Dear sabine, a few years ago i felt so worthless and empty. And i ask myself many times "why me?" but then i realised that bad things happen to everyone. life isn't fair or perfect. But i learned to be happy with the things i got. Things like a house, or a warm meal everyday. Today i know there is no good without bad, no light without shadows. But there are so many wonderful things in this world. So don't give up.
I agree with your words, Anette, but I also believe we are happy when we WANT to be happy. Life's always ups and downs, we always have problems and bad people come and go all the time. But being able to smile despite of that, being able to appreciate every little thing in life means you are a strong person who can overcome all of that. I myself have had it hard. 2012 has been hard, since I can't find a job (this economical crisis is hitting my country hardly) and my mum's been diagnosed with a cancer. But anyway, I AM happy. I just am. I have days when I only want to cry and feel sorry for myself, but then I get up and keep smiling and seeing the bright side of life. I understand it's not always possible, but happiness depends on ourselves. We can have everything in the world: money, friends, family, health..., and yet we can still be unhappy. I don't think happiness is in others, but in ourselves. It's in being able to keep walking, in being able to make others smile, in being kind and generous. That's happiness for me, and it's a choice. The people I know who have suffered the most are also the ones who are more thankful to life.
Somedays it's hard, somedays it's not. But we can do it. That's what life is all about.
And oh,I almost forgot!You're writing a book?That's super-exciting news!I can't wait to know more about it.I still get surprised whenever you say you have a new project going,because it just seems like you have neverending ideas and creativity!*happy cry*
I am quite tempted to say that I'm glad you parted ways with Nightwish.Sure,I am not happy about it (and chances are,I won't ever be),but I am kind of thankful for that,because now we get to see how many more things you can do,and,mostly,because you're happier now.It's like your full creativity has been unleashed,and it's so great!I'm very excited,indeed.
Lots of love,
@Sabine. Hold on sweetie. We all know how your feeling. And it does get better. You just have to find your own happiness and get rid of all the negative things in your life pulling you down. Out of the darkness always comes the light. Just know we are all here to support you. x
I read this post, and I have to say you have right Anette. Sometimes life can be or seem hard but I think that's the point, because not everything can be happiness. Because we have to grow up and understand some many things and not be stuck all the time, thinking in the bad things.
Everyone in life passed for bad and painful moments, who say: I'm happy all the time, it's a fake person. We are humans we are not perfect and that's the beauty of the life.
So, Sabine: Don't worry about the bad moments, or bad persons or bad things in your life, everyone feels bad in a one time of the life, but we are not alone, we can to find people and talk about our feelings, and ofcourse we can help to each others.
You are right! People in this time want to say to others: "Hey, I am very positive! I am never be sad."
Because now many people don't want to support their friends/relatives and another close people. It is simple to say:"I am busy, please call me later." When you are free. People can't support. It is a illness of our time. Because of it people hide their grief. And it is broken them. I am very happy that you try to support everyone in your blog. I wish you will continue do it=) Good Luck!
First of all, I don't know what exactly Sabine's comment was, so I don't know how bad her situation or whatever really is.
Well, yeah, it is true, there are ups and downs in life but you also have to understand that one's life can also consist only of downs. I know what I'm talking about. Sure, we're not "alone", others feel the same way, but in what way does that help us? If you need someone to talk to, to hold you, to hug you and no one is there because you don't have someone in "real life", I honestly don't care if there's another girl in another city, country or even continent that feels the same way... it may make you feel a bit better - but only at first. After months of loneliness it just doesn't matter anymore and it also doesn't matter if someone says "It will get better" because we clearly know it won't. After a few times we just don't believe it anymore. First it kinda was a bit hope, one tiny piece of hope we hold on to but after months with nothing changing at all, one just cannot believe in it anymore - at least that's what happened to me. I think no one really understands that unless you've been there yourself. Feeling down everyday, you do not want to get out of bed because you don't know what to do cause you just cannot do anything anymore cause you don't have any energy for anything (not even starting the computer!), feeling lonely and also alone (and I am alone, trust me, no "online friend" can replace a "real life friend"), feeling worthless because everyone ignores or insults you (even my younger sister, haha...), having bad thoughts because it won't get any better, hopelessness, the voices in your head telling you stuff like: you're not pretty enough, you're not thin enough, you're not smart enough, which you start to belive because otherwise people would like and spend time with you, bascially that no one likes you and so you won't ever become happy again because of that and all this stuff.
It's great that you try to cheer her and others up, though, but it isn't that easy, believe me.
I'm always quoting a song you know yourself at this point:
"How can you 'just be yourself', when you don't know who you are? Stop saying 'I know how you feel', how could anyone know how another feels?"
...just because it is true. And it is true. So damn true...
I'm sorry for this depressing comment but it's just my opinion and my point of view... sorry.
Victoria: I´ve been where you are. I´ve been diagnozed with chronic depression when I was fourteen. Now I´m eighteen in two weeks, I had four years of depression, and I know that it feels like there is no hope. There´s been a few moments when I felt better, but they were few and I stopped believing in them when I was sixteen. I know that words don´t help too much, that with words you can´t change much.
Now I don´t know how old you are, or how long you had to endure this torment.
But I know that somewhere there is a point when the light in the tunnel becomes something of worth. And Yes, mostly this light is an approaching train, but there´s times when you can still enjoy the light.
I know that I can´t change your mind with words. But still, it is like this. No depression is endless, no depression is without light, and no life consists only of lows. There is always the chance of it getting better. You need to learn to enjoy the little things - a beautiful flower you see, a good book you read, an angelic person like Anette living somewhere in our world, a moment of happiness, no matter how short - you need to learn to enjoy them in order to make your life a bit lighter.
Believe me. It works. Just try! I´ve been told to write down everything good that happened during the day, I even have a friggin blog where I do this, I´ve been told to write down everything nice that somebody said to me, and when I feel down I can look at it and it makes me feel a bit better.
You just must not give in. Giving in is the worst thing one can do.
Wishing you all the best!
Betty: Aww, your lovely comment made me cry (in a positive way, though). Well, I'm 16, turning 17 in 4 months, and it's been about more than one year, I'd say, only that it became more severe the last 4 months.
Of course you're right about the fact that this dark tunnel isn't endless but at the moment it just seems like it is. I just can't change my mind, I mean, if I could, I instantly would, believe me. As you said, I've got to learn to enjoy even little things, well, I'm trying to. I even got an empty jar where I want to put sheets of paper of the positive things that will happen (well, then happened) to me this year - it's just empty so far, haha. ...an angelic person like Anette living somewhere in our world made me smile because, as weird as it sounds, this is actually a really good point. All my favourite musicians do really help me a lot by "just being there", even though I know I'll never ever meet them in person and they don't even know that I, as the person I am, exist (which obviously is too much to ask for because of the huge amount of fans everyone has). So basically all my favourite musicians [obviously containing you, Anette :)] are my moments of happiness, if you can call it that way, despite the negative aspect I've mentioned before.
I will try. ...I am trying. As I already said, I'm working on that part, it just isn't happening that much positive things but I'll see.
I know I must not give in, and I'm not planing to, everything else would be a lie because I can't promise anything. Believe me, I don't want to give in and let this illness win, I don't want to die, I really do want to live... I am just not really "living" my life because I don't really know how to, that's the point.
Thank you for this comment, though - it really made me smile, thank you :) x
Cutting is an addiction. Sometimes cutters will *look* for reasons why their lives suck, and find an excuse to do it. They can find reasons to make a sunny day suck. Cutting is an addiction, and they best way to recovery is to find another vice. If you're hurting, try cutting a book. My sketch book was a huge outlet through all my pain. Draw, scribble, draw. Get a diary. Anything is better than using your skin.
I know this because I suffered from this as a teenager. I'll still get the same feelings, but will express them elsewhere. A diary and a sketchbook are my ultimate outlets, and once I've expressed, I'll staple the pages together to never look at them again. Maybe it's not healthy, but it sure as hell beats constant reminders on your skin. That just perpetuates the situation; express your hurt and anger, but don't do it on yourself (or others). Do it somewhere where you can lock it away, like a diary of sketch book.
Feel better. Let yourself feel rewarded for something, you deserve to thrive.
Anette, i just loved your answer. Of all the singers that i listen you're my favorite because you're not just a wonderful singer but a wonderful person. Always here to say someting nice to people even when you don't know then. I really wish to meet you someday... Thank you for being such a lovely person full with light, i wish you and your family all the best forever. Camila- Brazil.
after some time back on your blog :-) It's really great thing you write about this things. Because you just catch the point, live on social networks isn't real, it's just mirror set into the face of our society. A lot of people live beautiful "social networks" life but real life seem to be poor. I remeber how we spoke with my close friend about people who are frustrated from the FB because it seems life passes quickly, everybody is happy and sucessfull. People just need to understand, that "social life on networks" is only a small part of them and the real life offer a lot of great things - you can speak with a lot of "never seen" freinds hours on net, or just called to your real friend and have a real fun. Great thing on SN is that you are able to comunicate with a lot of people from whole world who has the same interest like you, for example, but what more can you offer SN? I personally thik nothing, what's meaningful. Some sociological studies showed, that on SN people most of time pretend sucessfull private an work live just because they won't be outsiders or look like a desperate. In your real live can you maintain active contact with up to 100 friends! And now we should look at our "frinedlist" on SN. Therefore came to social networking Sortorder (close friends, acquaintances ...) Everybody from us can have 12348912876123 acquaintances on SN, but it will be interesting to know, how many of them are close friends. Everyone wants to have a lot of friends on SN, it is a natural desire of the human ego, but we should to know, where is the border between Social networks and reality and don't be frustrated from all this stuff.
I know Sabine myself and she is a very nice girl. My life also sucks, but I know there are people who think the same about their lifes. If I would write down all the things I hate, I think it would cover almost 10 papers. Both sides. But if I write that all down here, it would be pathetic.
Anette, I still don't understand why you're not with Nightwish anymore. I know what happened, but I can't understand how they could use two good singers in a short time. Please explain me, I'm so confused now! I'm listening Dark Passion Play all the time!
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