Tuesday, January 20, 2015

When u believe u did good...

…but failed?

Yeah, I got one exam back and one that felt so good when writing it and the shock I got that I didn't pass it was big yesterday as well as my feeling of being a loser.

I know, of course I´m NOT a loser for flunking one exam but in my mind where I always want to be perfect and best, my inner voice kept saying that I am bad and has no brain after I got the result…

Isn´t it horrible that me and maybe some of you too, if you also have these high demands on yourself, do this to ourselves. Putting ourselves down, thinking we are bad instead of thinking: Hey, ok darling, you didn't pass the test. Ok, that wasn't so good but YOU did GOOD ENOUGH!!! You made your BEST and you worked hard but sometimes HARD isn't enough…

And yeah, I did work hard but there are just so many things buzzing in my life at the same time so studying and also doing my music are colliding and at times it will be like this - my brain can't take in it all and yeah, exams might fail.

Nothing to do - head up high- move on and give myself a tap on the shoulder for good job and with the knowing it will go better next time…

Programming my brain to think differently is hard but I need to do it cause being a "perfect" is just so damn hard and life is to short.

Love yourself and be kind to yourselves=)


Hep-Hep Steff said...

i'm sorry you missed one of yourtwo exams... but hey, you have one! doing your studies, with your family and the music, i just don't know how you could manage it.... do you sleep at night? you're amazing!
hugs & love <3

Carol Misokane said...

Hi Nettie.
First, I want to congratulate you for sharing this to us. When I fail I hate to admit it. And second, as a student too I know how is this feeling because you really study hard and when you are writing seems like you know everything and then the result put you down. Unhappily in our university lives it happens all the time but all I can tell you is to not give up. I know you are a very smart person who studies, be a mother, wife and singer all the same time, so it's totally normal to fail sometimes, remember that we are all human beings and making mistakes is part of life.
So dry your eyes and move away, you can and you will!
I'll keep my fingers crossed for the next exam.

All my love, Carol

MAN70 said...

Hello Anette,
It can manage at whoever to fail it do not worry you is not dramatic the main part is not to abandon.
Good luck, you are the best.


Pascal said...

Hi Anette!

I know that very well, I also experience it a lot of times. There were already often tests where I thought yes, that will be a great mark and then it was a bad one and that can be really shocking.

You are right, a failed exam doesn´t make you a loser and in general, you are really no loser at all. And you do already very well in reminding yourself about that I think! But of course, sometimes it can feel different. Especially after an experience like a bad exam score it can be really hard to still believe in yourself, but this are the moments where you have to say to yourself no, you know that you are no loser and you know what you can do and then you shouldn´t even give thoughts like that the chance to become stronger.

As you said it already right: head up high and moving on AND not forgetting that you tried your best. The next chance will come and then it will be better, I believe in you and always will :).

And I also often have this feeling of wanting to do everything right, of, yeah, just wanting to be perfect. But as you said, this is hard and I also think that we need to make mistakes to learn from them. I can say that I see you as a wonderful and fantastic person exactly the way you are and that it is really great how you are :).

The picture here is just really beautiful and I congrat you on that you can participate in this show in Finland :). As far as I read about it, it´s some kind of talent contest and already now, I want to wish you all the best for it and I know you will be super great. I´m looking forward to hear you singing in that :).

Have a great time in Finland, take good care and when you go back home, travel back healthy and safely :).

Lots of hugs to you and have a nice evening!

TheDeadUnicorn said...

This is totally me..I never accept to be anything less than perfect,especially when it comes to school.I don't exactly know why,and it's a cycle that perpetuates my depression and my illness,but it's hard to accept that at times I can't be the best.And at the same time,when I do get great results,it feels like it's just what I was supposed to do,and not like I've achieved something.
I'm sorry you feel the same,but it's amazing to see that you're still strong and that you take time to realize you're wonderful ad that a failed exam isn't you,that it has nothing to do with your value or your ability.
Good luck with the next ones!
Have a nice day

Karin said...

You said it : you did your best. That is the best you can do!
If it fails, it fails. Then you do it again. And, you always learn something from your mistakes and fails. In fact, those things can make you even better. It feels bad to fail, of course it does, but, then , it makes you stronger!
Kämpa på Anette, du gör så bra du kan av allting. Mer kan du inte göra.
Kram ❤️

Anonymous said...

Commiserations my favourite lady Viking :-)

This sort of thing is not uncommon though as lots of students regularly don't pass exams on first attempt. Try not to worry about it! :-) Though I'm sure you will pass it as I believe you're capable! :-)

I've said it before and I'll say it again that I seriously think you should ditch the music for now during your studies. It would be for safety reasons more than anything. You've just said it yourself in your post that studying and music are colliding so exams might fail. I don't think it's too bad now during your first year but the course will get tougher as it progresses and it really will demand your full attention increasingly during the next two years or so. And it would be a real shame if you didn't graduate just because of that as I think you'll make a lovely, fabulous nurse! :-)

I appreciate what you say Anette when you say you're programmed that way and it's hard to change :-) Though there is no such thing as a perfect person Anette. And as you said yourself, life is too short. So, why try to be a perfect person? I'm not saying that people shouldn't try to better or improve themselves in some way. What I am saying though is that no-one can be as perfect as you're perhaps implying.

I really don't know why you refer to yourself as a loser or perhaps imply that you feel like a loser :-/ You've sang for and recorded 2 albums with a world famous rock band, you have your own solo record out, and more importantly people like you and you're blessed with a family consisting of three lovely children and a loving husband all for you to go home to :-)

I'd like to say something to anyone reading this who thinks that they're a loser... when you were conceived, out of all of those millions and millions of sperms swimming against each other to be fertilised YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GOT THERE FIRST! :-D Out of all those millions & millions of sperms YOU are the one and ONLY ONE that got there first! YOU WON! :-) CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE A WINNER! :-)

lynn0407escapistgirl said...

I'm so sorry for you, dear. :( And I can totally understand you because I want to be perfect and best in everything I do too and am now so afraid of failing my tests... But your attitude is the right one, thinking positive always helps and it can be an inspiration to all of your fans who are studying too. So you did your best, yes, and you are amazingly kind and that can't be proven by any test but is much more important in life. ;)

Yanna said...

Hi Anette !

It's always hard to see that you failed when you did your best. But you did your best ! :) And that's the most important part ^^

Exams are always very stressful, mine just finished, yay ! I don't now if I did well, but I last I did what I could, and there's nothing more I can do now >.<

Anyway, keep your head high ! :)

Unknown said...

Hello Anette! I know that feeling so good. I get today my notice for working in kindergarten. I always have do my best and today that. I can not understand that. They say I have make to much and I was often ill. Thats so sad. You try you best and that is it what
you get. Whats wrong with this people?! I do my professional high school for health and social and when you do that you have to make one year a placement. So I hope I will find a new one and that soon. otherwise I probably can not go on with the high school.