Strong outside but weak inside

Hey sweeties and happy Friday!

I want to write about some serious stuff today, I know it isn´t always so fun but sometimes we need to allow the weaker things inside of us to come out. We can still be strong and look strong but in the inside we may be weak and not showing.

As most of you probably know I was robbed and beaten badly last year in february by a drug junkie. Last week it was finally time for me to face her in court, a moment I´ve dreaded for and been scared for. I´ve never been in a court before so the whole thing felt so scary after seeing all those dramatic american lawyer series.

I had mum and Johan with me and also my lawyer and one of the many heroes from that day, Antonia, who chased after her and tried to take back my bag and also got beaten.

It felt scary and weird to sit there facing the person who without any thought started beating me badly in my face that day, many times, while I was lying down on the ground defenceless. To tell to the court and those being there to see the hearing, my story and breaking down and crying when I told I feared for my life and has been scared to walk the streets ever since and have bad nightmares that haunt me still, was hard but had to be done.

Now after the hearing I have even worse nightmares and I am awaiting what the outcome will be, if she´ll be in prison or not. I hope for her sake and others that she will be locked away and hopefully come out from the drug abuse since it will for sure otherwise kill her.

I feel empathy for her but I also am angry since she has messed me up and I still have headaches on the side she beated me. 

What it also did was stur up an old trauma from a thing that happened me when I was 18 years old and also got attacked. I have never talked about this in public but it´s a horrible thing that changed my life and still is with me every single day.

To be attacked twice in life has made me wonder why this happens to me, but there are just no single solution to that and I cant go thinking about that cause life happens for a reason we do not know why.

I just want all of you, especially women and girls to be careful out there. If you walk alone please do not walk in dark places, be careful when someone walks close behind you, when you meet someone that looks suspicious, scream for help if you get attacked!!! That made Antonia hear me and come to the rescue and helped me get this person to the court. 

Know that there are dangerous people out there, dont be AFRAID but be CAREFUL at all times.

Love and light,

Anette