Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Autumn is here

So, summer past so fast and mainly due to it being a "bad" summer when it comes to weather here, but also due to me working all summer. That´s the life of being a student, working all summer and no free time=)

Being a student in my age is a bit harder, both financially as well as getting the life puzzle together with lots of kids and so on so its a bit stressy at times.

For me, I cope quite OK with stress if I can see that I can solve the things I have ahead of me, but when I feel life is swallowing me and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, I get really stressed and can get anxiety attacks. I don't know if any of you have panic attacks or anxiety but I have had that during my life. Some periods in my life it´s been less of it and or course this has to do with if life is smooth, not so many mountains to climb and I have people around me who are positive.

The periods when I´ve had more of this is when I feel "trapped", when people make me feel I can't be myself, when I can't see any way to get out of the situation and so on.

It´s not so bad so that I can't get through this, cause I have so "small" attacks of this nowadays and when they come I know how to deal with them but of course when I was younger it was harder.

To be in a panic attack is horrible cause I feel like I can't breathe, I have a feeling of being "trapped" and my lungs and heart just shrink and I get such hyperventilation and pain in my chest that if you don't know what this is, you might think its a heart attack.

Friends of mine have had their first attack and had to go with an ambulance to the hospital believing they were dying. Thats how horrible this is.

If I knew when I was a teenager, what I know now about this, I believe I could have gotten through my attacks easier. And if people around me knew back then. And maybe many of my hardest times with this could had been easier. 

If you have panic attacks and struggling with them, go read this and learn more cause you can get help and do many things to self-help.


Love and light,
Anette

4 comments:

Paulina Gorczyca said...

Oh dear Anette, I exactly know what you are talking about. I have anxiety disorder with attacks of panic and anxiety. Now I'm OK, but 2 years ago my life was a nightmare. My longest panic attack took almost a month with 2 weeks without sleep. I felt then like a wreck. I started to take medication, I really had to... So now I'm a very happy person. Of course I have some of attacks.. But I started to learn how to overcome my fears. I know what to do when the attack comes... And of course I had to accept my disease!!
But the worst thing is that not everyone understands our problem. When you go to psychiatrist or psychologist some of people think that you are just crazy.. Our world is without any understanding sometimes.
And that's so important to have people who support you. Fortunately I have my loved ones who support me - my husband, my parents, best friends, even my mother-in-law. But a lot of people with similar problems doesn't. I pray fot them - and I wish them to find even one person who will understand them.
So I'm glad that you mention about this problem!!

Hugs for you and your family! :*
Paulina

Hep-Hep Steff said...

thanks to me being asperger and borderline, i do have panic attacks, it's plain awful. i have little useful things to try to avoid them as much as i could. i wear something i could hold without looking much of a fool, like a special necklace, or a silk scarf a beloved friend gave me. i have things in my bag that are comforting, if it's not too stressful, knowing they are with me are helpful. (the cellphone leather bag i bought to you being one of them...) now, i always take a taxi, when i left my train to go to montmartre, where i stay with some family... a bit expensive, but between my bad back, fucked up ankle and panic attack, it really worth it! but panic attacks arenot the worth thing i have, it's asperger attacks. it's like being trapped in a glass cage, you could hear everything, but you couldn't interact with people, it's really scary. and i guess it could be scary for people around me as well... the biggest one i had was at the olympia theaterr, after a concert... i ended shaking, tears running down my eyes, and slowly banging the back of my head.... i simply was unable to open my eyes, it was too painful. i still don't know how i was able to ask someone (a security man, i think) for help by calling a dear friend of mine who could got me back in the real world, and grabbed her phone number in my bag. hopefuly the guy was nice, and my friend at her home. she came as fast as she could, and helped me to get back... the first thing she did was holding me tight. it took me something like 5 minutes to gain enough sense to go to a café with her, and i had a beer to calm myself more (i couldn't explain why, it works!)..... it really scared me, and if it wasn't for my friend, i don't know what would have happened..... i had one thing that helped me too, it was your cellphone bag. having it in my hands helped tremendously. the soft leather, on my skin is really comforting.

Tom said...

Once upon a time I used to suffer from anxiety attacks.

It peaked when I was in my early 20's and it was horrible as I was constantly on edge, unable to relax. To try and cope with the situation I used to smoke like a chimmney, ( I don't smoke anymore. A cigarette has not touched my lips since early 2008. I dread to think what my lungs look like now... ) two or three packets a day which is a lot. An expensive habit too. Whenever I used to go out in public I always used to hear random comments from various members of the public about how tense I looked. So I visited my doctor and he prescribed me something called Citalopram, which is a very mild anti-deppressant. I took this for while but it was'nt working. I needed something much stronger but I'm assumning the doctor will only prescribe stronger medications of this variety to people who are self-harming or attempting suicide, which I was'nt. I was'nt depressed or self-harming or suicidal. I was only very anxious ( I think the terms anxiety and depression get mixed up. To me, depression means intense saddness; anxiety means nerves, panic )

Luckily for me I somehow managed to get over this. I still have a small tendency to be anxious/nervous ( two years ago I went to Prague. While I was there I attended a Tarja Turunen Beauty & The Beat gig. I was sat in the forth row from the stage. At any gig, when you're near the front there is a lot of eye contact and galnces between the people on the stage and the people in that section of the audience. I noticed Tarja looking at me a lot during the gig. I was feeling a bit tense. I think that was the reason ). Though it's much better than it used to be.

Thank you Anette for providing a useful link on the subject. Later on my favourite lady Viking I will take a look at the link.

Take care! :-)

Pascal said...

Hi Anette!

This is again a very serious, but important topic you speak about in here.

I feel sorry that you have to suffer from such anxiety attacks, but I´m also glad to see that it got better and is now in a state that is at least bearable for you.With me, it was, or is similar. I indeed know those attacks too and had it a lot in my life. It has also become better within the years, but I had a time where often the thought came up to my mind that something really terrible will happen and it caused a fear that took total control over me and my mind. It was so disgusting and I felt really bad then and there was nothing I could do to get rid of those thoughts, I had to wait until they went away by theirselves again. And in the end they always did, but as long as they captured my mind, I also was in panic and felt so sick and bad, similar as you describe it in here.

And yes, then there are of course those terrible moments in life, where you feel nothing but pressure and where it all feels like you manage nothing at all and you fail at everything you try and that can also cause panic and periods where you feel so restless all the time. I´ve been there too and meanwhile this also got better. Nowadays, I sometimes still have days where I just feel bad, like I don´t achieve anything, feeling uncontent and like being caught in myself which causes also the state of being in panic then, but those became seldom luckily and I hope it will stay like this.

Anette, as I said I´m happy for you that this also got better in your life and I hope your friends also got over it. It´s a pity you had to suffer from this, but when it already improved, I believe that those anxiety attacks will vanish more and more in time. Maybe this are some kind of late effects from all the bad things you had to go through, things like you talked about in here recently. I could imagine that all this pressure is still somewhere in your conscience, but I think that when you feel less stress and are happier again, this problem will be solved too in time :). And It´s not easy and I know that, but I want to give you the advice that you try to not let those bad feelings, whenever they come up, overwhelm you. This can be difficult, for sure, but always try to remember that you have the light on your side and in the end YOU are stronger and... you SHINE :).

Thank you for talking about this issue in here, which is something I also know and therefore I can understand how you feel and I want to send you lots of power and strength :). Thanks also for the link, I think I will go on the site some time when I also feel again I have one of those bad days.

Love and light also back to you!