Sunday, August 24, 2014

Trolls

Good morning all=)

Sunday and the day before the reality starts here again after some vacation weeks and the family together. Johan starting his job again and me going to get Mio into pre-school so I can start university next week. I am still on the waiting list for my first choice university and still hoping to get in since it´s so much shorter to take me there. 27 minutes with train instead of the one I am in to with 1h35 minutes single trip. This also make me stressed since I need to leave the kids before I leave with the train in the early morning and our pre-school doesn't open until 07. So I am actually in a dilemma what to do, but as I know- things always finally solves itself so I take it as easy as I can and we´ll see what happens.

Since I am a person who is quite open with my opinions and also answer people on things there will always be some people who doesn't like me that uses everything I say to say that I am this and that. Won´t say names here but I know them and I see there comments and sometimes I wonder why these people have such boring lives that they need to vent and talk a lot of b-shit about others they don't even know in person?

I saw a documentary last night where a radio host in the UK tried to find out what it is that makes internet trolls and haters to do what they do and he didn´t find a clear answer to this of course, cause all he got to know was that some of the haters had been mocked and bullied in their lives and now they wanted to give back in their adult lives and therefore hated and started things in forums, in Facebook pages and so on to get a "kick" when someone got hurt or angry for what they wrote.

Hmmm.. I have been bullied many years and I can´t understand how someone having had to live through people being mean to you, making you so lonely and without self-esteem find it in their heart to go out and do the same to someone else? Really? Why? If you have been there with those feelings when people are so mean to you every single day, WHY do you even wanna do that to someone else?

NO - I don't believe it. for me - trolls and haters are people who are mean and without positive things in their lives. Who do not have any courage to face others face to face but instead sit and write mean and stupid things in the internet. Cowards to be honest.

For me- I don't have time or lust to talk about what others do in their lives cause I live MY life instead and surround myself with people who doesn't talk about others. Cause if you have a good and fulfilled life with love around you, a good support and real friends - you don't have to talk negatively about others. And especially not about people you don't even know=) Jealousy of course is also what makes people do these things. Instead of being jealous of someone - go search your OWN happiness.

Stop complaining - stribe to make YOUR life better instead!

And when it comes to me and those who twist what I say or do? Get a life - I live mine and make mistakes and I choose different paths in life when things change. That for me, is how life should be lived. Not cut into stone. If I have chosen a path and then all of a sudden something better or new arises I chose another path.

I find it exciting=) 

Instead of sitting hating in the internet and writing stupid things I LIVE in the real world!

To the trolls and haters: TRY go outside and look at the world from that view instead. Maybe your life can be so much better?

ENJOY this day!

11 comments:

Hep-Hep Steff said...

well said!
maybe it's not wrong about the trolls and haters, that they've been bullied before. my father treated me like a piece of shit because he was treated like this.... but these kind of people made the choice to live without a heart. i have been bullied as far as i can remember, for my scar on my forehead (being scalped and having the skin and hair rolled on themselves is something that left a big scar), for my love of books and music, for my weight... i was a lonely kid most of the time. but like you, i know too much how it is to be hurted by a mean comment, and how it could give invisible scars... i would never hurt a fly on purpose! i just couldn't do....
sadly since some time i see this more and more often... some who couldn't disagree without being hateful and mean, some others who have no respects for the feelings and tastes of other people but ask respect for themselves... some who are just jealous and yhings like this... i have made some friends (real friends) with a few people i used to listen when i was a kid, but the less i tell about them the better it is. i made no secret of who my friends are, but appart for this... i was very open at the begining of my friendship with clo (desireless), who's now one of my very best friend, and a few people turned jealous up to the point they became hateful. i just couldn't understand this, when someone have something good in his life, i'm happy for him or her, and that's all. but this made me learn to shut my mouth, i only open to really trusted people, and even so not totally....
at least this world is not full of haters, there's also people like you; with a big heart and really caring, lovely and loving.

Lilys-Garden said...

Dear Anette, you are so right. Bullying is so wrong! We all are different in every single way, but this makes the live so interesting and full of colour. Do not allow these people to get into your heart to make bad feelings. You are a lovely person.:)
As a working mother with two kids i can say, you can/will do that!! Sometimes it's hart but you will be an idol for your kids, they see: That working hard is needed to get a comfortable and contended life:) i hope you get your choosen place in that university.

And now i have a song for you...it's my favourite...for the loved ones, perhaps you can sing it one day acapella?:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxSTzSEiZ2c

With love Jasmin

Pascal said...

Hej Anette!

I wish you all the best to get into that university you aim at. I´m sure you can manage that and I hope it for you.

Well, our „lovely“ internet trolls. I think it´s best to just ignore them, if people answer them they feel vindicated and have more reason to continue. There´s a saying that goes „Don´t feed the troll“ and I think that´s it.

But some things they write can be really annoying and make you angry. Especially then when it comes to mocking and insulting and talking badly about others which, as you say, they mostly don´t even know personally. I mean, in the internet there is always discussion, always different opinions which collide. And I think if one has a different opinion on something, it´s ok to tell it, but it should be in a friendly way without getting rude and hating. For example youtube: I luckily never comment there, but when you thread through the comments, on most videos I find a hard fight with lots of unfriendly things. I mean, it starts with musicians and bands: In metal, almost every popular band has this one album which is considered to be the worst one. When someone writes on youtube something like (it´s not an original quotation, only an example) „Well I honestly think it´s their best album“ or so, he easily gets to hear things like „f**k you“, „go dying“, „you have no idea so shut up“ and so on. I just don´t get in my mind why people automatically have to bash someone down who has another opinion. I hate this non – tolerance.

I didn´t forget those mean things towards you, especially on facebook and I think hating on someone is never right, but especially in your case it´s even more sad. You are a really great person, friendly, you care about your fans and followers, you don´t do anything wrong. But haters are everywhere unfortunately. But as you already said, that behaviour is cowardish, because when they can hide behind their PCs, then they are strong. I sometimes believe most of tose who troll on a person like you would hurry in the first row to get an autograph when they met you in real life.

And to the theory that trolls and haters do that because they have experienced it themselves... well, it´s difficult. I think it can be like that. It shouldn´t be an excuse, but unfortunately it´s a phenomenon that some people indeed put on others exactly that of what they had to suffer themselves. It´s the same with, I know that might be a strange comparison, but child abusers: A lot of them were abused themselves when they werde children. So we can ask ourselves, shouldn´t they know then especially how they are treating others, how cruel their behaviour is. And then comes what you said, and I think it´s right, because yes, maybe having suffered from those things should not, but can lead to putting it on others, but it also depends strongly on the character, on the way the person itself is. And it takes a lot of coldness and cruelty to act like this then. That is what you for example don´t have and that´s why, even though you suffered from it, don´t bully anyone. It doesn´t fit to your personality. But unfortunately there are people who have a less warm character and then maybe the experiences from the past and the way they are in person come together. But I guess there are also bullies and so who did never suffer from anything like that. As you say, they have no positivity in their lives. And that is of course not great, but I think nothing, neither what you experienced in the past nor what you go through at the moment, gives someone the right to let it out on others.

So, that was lot of text now, but I had to say it all. I was always and will always be against bullying and trolling and hating. I also suffered a lot from bullying and I know how hard it can be. But let me tell you, I´m proud of you and the way you handle those internet trolls. You just do it right :).

Enjoy

Kate said...

I've always found it really funny how people who supposedly hate you still spend so much time dedicated to paying attention to what you're doing, even now that you're out NW and no longer "ruining" the band. My, my, it really shows how much they have going on in their lives. I know not everyone likes you speaking your mind about bullies and trolls, since they always look for something to scrutinise about you (everything you say or do is negative, immature, hypocritical, lies, etc), but you're correct, people have to stop complaining and go out there and make their lives better! Once you are an adult, you cannot always make excuses for your shitty behaviour, no matter what has caused you to be like that. Everyone has their own personal baggage to deal with, but the decision is always up to us whether we let the negative consume us or whether we learn to deal with and treat others with respect.

And with that said - live and let live! No one, not even the people you admire, will always make the decisions you like or follow the same beliefs as you and you should not place anyone on a pedestal.

Good luck with getting into your chosen uni, I am sure that whatever happens, things will somehow work out. You have a way of making things happen!

lynn0407escapistgirl said...

Totally agree with you, Anette, and this attitude is exactly why I admire you so much. *thumbs up*

Tom said...

I whole heartedly concur with you my favourite lady Viking! :-)

I've also been a victim of a troll or hater. About 6 years ago I wrote a comment on a YouTube page in which I received a reply a few days later.

This was a bit different though as the person responsible had wrote the contents of their comment in a very snide manner in which they weren't directly insulting/referring to me, but actually indirectly insulting/referring to me. This made it worse as not only is the person hiding behind a computer screen somewhere in the world but they are even hiding behind their words by the snide manner in which they presented their comment. I was in a no-win situation though because if I challenged the person then they would of firstly totally, utterly denied it. And then they may of gone further by accusing me of been paranoid or over-sensitive or something like that.

It doesn't matter how someone words or phrases something, doesn't matter how they put it, I can always tell if someone is indirectly insulting me or referring to me in some unflattering way. And if anyone does this then you too are actually a troll or hater :-)

Though your guess is as good as mine Anette as to the reasons my troll decided to pick on me. Perhaps they were insecure in someway? Maybe jealous of me for some childish reason? Or, amazingly, actually afraid of me and actually somehow see me as a threat?

Who knows? Like you once said to me Anette, there are many reasons for bullying and all are deep and complex.

Goodnight my favourite lady Viking! :-)



Andrea said...

My goodness the amount of things you've said I can wholeheartedly agree with.

This post. SO much. that's all i can really say.

Fiona said...

Great post, Annette! These people are sad and have no life. Who could even hate on a person like you. You haven't done anything wrong and bring only light and happiness to the world. I am listening to "The Poet and the Pendulum" right now. One of my most favourite songs that you did. :) The haters sit behind their keyboards lonely, but you have touched thousands with your music. And you will continue to be a light to the world in your new profession, a nurse.

Hep-Hep Steff said...

btw, i wonder how many trolls you had for this post only....
i wish you good luck for your studies, and i send you lots of hugs to comfort you when you feel down.
kisses & love for you and your family <3

Armando said...

:) well, as it's said "some people need a high five....In the face
...With a chair!" those are human beings that nobody needs in his life.
For instance, did they ever hear the love poem in "song of myself"? i don't think so...

aliisa said...

I totally agree! Whenever I see stupid comments about you or other famous people I wonder how the hell can anybody say what you are like if they don't even know you...
I must say I judged people sometimes, too. But then I understood it's not good to see only their disadvantages and talk about it everywhere. It's better to try to see some good in every person and life can be very nice. I hate when people judge me, I am a kind of person who doesn't talk much, I don't feel a need for this, I'm introvert. So basically people see me by my body and the few words I say. I feel like they think I'm a madcap. Well, maybe I am ;-) But I know how it hurts when you see the contempt in somebody's eyes looking at you and I promised myself not to judge anybody never again cause it hurts very much. Once I've read a good qoute - "Don't judge people, you never know what kind of battle they are fighting." and it became one of my life mottos.
Take care, Nettie! :)
P.s. Yesterday I found you're demo version of "Ever dream", it's just amazing! I listen to this one and "Shine" all the time. I miss your voice, cant wait for your next album!